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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26022625">I Always Wondered, but I Never Asked</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlossomingRosebud/pseuds/BlossomingRosebud'>BlossomingRosebud</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Warriors - Erin Hunter, 신의 탑 | Tower of God</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>All the cast are cats, Angst, Confrontations, Dealing With Feelings Badly, Family, Gen, Mentions of Khun &amp; Bam, Rachel is in this you know things are going down</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:28:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,295</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26022625</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlossomingRosebud/pseuds/BlossomingRosebud</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rachel is angry at him, but for the life of him, Bam doesn't know why. He's been ignoring all the signs, perhaps because he's just happy to be in a clan, to finally have a family after being alone for so long. But he doesn't understand way Rachel doesn't want to be a part of it.</p><p>Or, a Warrior Cats AU one-shot with Tower of God characters as cats, because I can.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rachel &amp; Twenty-Fifth Baam | Jyu Viole Grace, Twenty-Fifth Baam | Jyu Viole Grace &amp; Everyone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I only want to talk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So...basically I saw this tumblr post (https://winifreyd.tumblr.com/post/626468625363124224/more-tog-cats-because-i-have-no-self-control) by winifryd with some art of ToG characters as cats, and it made me think of the way people drew fanart of the Warriors cats (from the book series) way back when, which got me thinking about it, which made me think of this scene right here. So, yeah! No huge plot this time, just a little glimpse, although admittedly I was thinking of a bit of a plot and might write a follow-up one shot to this one day.</p><p>Anyways! Just a heads up, with this being so short, it might not make much sense without knowing Warriors, since I didn't put much time into world-building like I usually like to in AUs like this. However, if you want to read it still, the basic gist is that you got cats living in the wild in extended family groups called "clans" that live together, hunt together, patrol their borders, know herbal medicine, train their youngsters as apprentices, and think themselves better than the uncivilized cats of the outside they lump together as "rogues". The clans are very territorial and fight each other a lot, but they do have a peaceful interclan gathering every month on the full moon. Also, they talk to their ancestors ("StarClan") and get prophecies and stuff.</p><p>But anyhow, it's not much but I had fun writing it (also, I will update Land Among the Stars soon, I promise! It's been a crazy month). :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Rachel, wait!”</p><p>Bam bounded across the grass, halting to a quick stop in front of the distressed pale yellow she-cat. She had been running from him, but stopped at this point due to the ground ending before the edge of the cliff just ahead, or maybe, she just wanted to talk alone? Bam stopped for a second, breathing heavily, listening to the sound of the unseen river below, now raging due to all the rain they had been getting these past few days. He also noticed that it was getting dark, and they would probably be leaving in just a minute, but, it was fine. Someone else could take his spot. He needed to be here for Rachel.</p><p>“What do you want?” Her voice was cold, almost angry. She really was upset about this, wasn’t she?</p><p>Bam didn’t get it. He knew there was something more to this, but what? “Th-there’ll be other times,” he started with a stutter. “I’m sure you’ll get picked to go to Four Trees next time!”</p><p>Rachel responded to his assurance with a short, bitter laugh, her eyes narrowed at the dark brown tom. “You don’t get it, do you? It’s been so long, and you still <em>don’t get it</em>. I wasn’t picked last time, either. I’m not going to get picked again, Bam.”</p><p>Bam didn’t know what to say. His heart with something like guilt at her words, for the simple fact that he was picked and she wasn’t. But…why did it matter that much? It was just a gathering. “You…you could have my spot, if you want? We could ask—”</p><p>“NO!” Rachel spat, her venom surprising Bam so much he took a step backwards. “Just—stop! You’ll only make things worse! Leave me alone already!”</p><p>Bam felt himself shrink from her gaze. What should he do? Should he leave? “No.” He shook his head, a little scared, but he was determined to help her. “Please, Rachel! I’m sorry you didn’t get picked, but it’s not…”</p><p>“No, Bam.” Her gaze turned icy, her shoulders stiffened noticeably beneath her thick fur. “It’s not just that. Are you really <em>this</em> blind? <em>Everybody</em> hates me now. They don’t want me on patrols, they don’t want my help, they don’t want my opinion. No one will <em>ever</em> talk me ever again, and it’s all because of <em>you</em>.”</p><p>“M-me?” Bam wasn’t expecting that. Had she said this before. He knew she was upset for a while, and he guessed not everyone really liked her that much, but…he always vouched for her. No matter what they said, he always vouched for her. “They’re just…confused, I think.” He spoke softly, his eyes turned to the ground. “But…I know you were just looking out for me.”</p><p>She was. She had to have been. He knew that, because…because she was the first one out of anybody to help him. He was alone for so long in those tunnels. He had no memory of a time before that, nor did he have a concept of how long that really was because he saw neither the moon nor the sun as long as he was down there. But Rachel came down. She found him, and she was nice to him. She told him all about the outside, about the clans and how they worked. She would give him prey, and they would share it together. She told him, then, that he couldn’t go to the outside with her, because that was clan territory and he wouldn’t be welcome there as an outsider. And…it’s not like she was wrong. He knew how hostile warriors could be to cats outside the clans, like those rogues from Twolegplace, or even like cats from the other clans (which was confusing, but he thinks he understood, now). So, of course Rachel would think that her clanmates would hurt him. And it’s true, when Shibisu and Hatz found him in the tunnels that day, scouting them for the first time after the discovery that they existed, they <em>were</em> hostile, at first. It’s just…they backed down really quickly when they realized he didn’t smell like any of the other clan cats. So, they never actually hurt him, but instead brought him back to camp. But, he was sure that if it had been a more aggressive clanmate, he might not have gotten off so easy (well, Hatz was <em>kind</em> of aggressive, but that was besides the point. Shibisu was his impulse control, anyways).</p><p>Point was, Bam never blamed Rachel for not telling anyone about him when he had been living underneath their feet for all those moons. He…<em>maybe</em> he did wonder, but he understood. However, the other friends he made in the clan were admittedly a little less forgiving. Endorsi wouldn’t even talk to Rachel anymore at all. Even Aguero, who wasn’t even from the same clan as them, straight-up told him that it was cruel what she did. He kind of was more vehement about it than even his own clanmates, oddly enough, but he guessed that was just because he didn’t know Rachel like he did. He just knew the story.</p><p>Rachel looked away from him. Even in the dim light, he could tell already that her eyes were filling with tears, and Bam felt his heart sink again, because he didn’t know what to do about it. “R-Rachel…?”</p><p>“Stop.” Rachel shook her head. “Can’t you see I don’t want to talk about it?”</p><p>“But…maybe we should?” Friends looked out for each other, right? That’s what Rachel taught him, right? “I’m sorry our clanmates haven’t been treating you well. Maybe you could talk to them—?”</p><p>“What good would that do!?” Rachel spat again, moving so quickly from tears to anger that it left Bam reeling like his balance would leave him just as soon. “What am I supposed to say!? I haven’t done anything wrong! You hear me? I haven’t done <em>anything</em>! And yet they hate me, and they love <em>you</em>! They call me weak, Bam!”</p><p>“Then we’ll train together!” Bam offered quickly. “I’ll help you get stronger!”</p><p>“<em>YOU </em>HELP <em>ME!?”</em></p><p>Rachel yelled at him loud enough to wake the birds. The air grew suddenly colder, it seemed. But why? What did Bam do wrong?</p><p>“What could <em>you</em> possibly do!? You’re an outsider! <em>I’m</em> the one who was born into this clan! <em>I’m</em> the one who trained to be a warrior all my life! <em>You’ve</em> been here for <em>three</em> moons, and now suddenly you think you’re better than me!? You think you can teach me!?”</p><p>“No!” He wasn’t being prideful! Really! “I didn’t mean it like that! I’ve just learned a lot, that’s all! You taught me too, remember? You taught me the Warrior’s Code and…”</p><p>“You don’t know the <em>first</em> thing about the Warrior’s Code!” she refuted him in a heartbeat. “You even have a friend from another clan! That’s a traitorous thing to do! And yet, everyone <em>lets</em> you!”</p><p>“But…that’s not the same! It’s Aguero! We <em>all </em>got to know him!” It was true! He was with them for over a whole quarter moon then—as their prisoner, technically, since he was caught on the outer fringes of their territory. Turns out, though, he wasn’t there because he was trying to spy or steal their prey—he was there because he was leaving his clan and had to cross their territory to get to the mountains which were his destination. At least, that’s what he explained to Bam; he wasn’t sure whether or not he said as much to the others. It was just that they spent a lot of time together at first, since Bam was sure he’d be lonely stuck in that den while being guarded all day. But in a little while, the others warmed up too and let him have a little more freedom. Eventually, it was Bam who convinced the KoonClan cat to return home. He really hoped that turned out well for him—he understood that it did seem bad over there. His own clanmates had given less-than-glowing tales of the other clan a long time before that, talking of their cruelty or of things like how they practiced polygamy, which was something only rogues did. Bam didn’t know what that meant—he had no idea what ‘polygamy’ even was, for one thing, but he also didn’t know why warriors and rogues were so fundamentally different. One of Aguero’s half-brothers had become a rogue, he had told him. Apparently, Ran left the clan many moons ago after a fight, and Aguero saw him just once after that in Twolegplace, running with his own group of cats. Bam wasn’t sure why that was considered such a bad thing, although he did see why it would hurt to leave your family behind. But if Ran had new friends, that was still good, wasn’t it? It wasn’t like he was hurting anyone. Were rogues that much worse than warriors? Was that why he would never be able to go back home now, if only just to visit?</p><p>But then…he couldn’t imagine any of his friends leaving, either. That’s why he encouraged Aguero to go back to KoonClan. He shouldn’t have to live alone in the mountains just because his sister was mad at him. No one should have to live alone.</p><p>He was hoping to meet his friend at Four Trees tonight, although he knew that after his extended absence, he probably would not be allowed to go. Maybe one day. Really, he just wanted to make sure Aguero was okay.</p><p>He wasn’t a traitor for thinking that. He would still fight for his clan, but shouldn’t it be okay to care about other cats too? Rachel didn’t really think of him as a traitor, surely…she was just upset right now. “Aguero was a nice cat; I’m sure if you got to know him…”</p><p>“<em>Nice</em>?” Rachel echoed with a mocking laugh. “That scheming, two-timing…<em>him</em>? No, Bam, he’s not. You really don’t know anything, do you?”</p><p>Bam’s paws clenched the dirt. “Why do you keep saying that!?” He felt himself snap, if only just a little. He hadn’t meant to get mad at Rachel, but now, everything just felt <em>wrong</em>. “So what if I don’t know everything!? If I don’t know, you can teach me! Please! I know I’m an outsider! But I really <em>want</em> to be—”</p><p>“Stop right there, Bam.” She looked him dead in the eye, cold bitterness laced in her voice. “This isn’t about what you want. You don’t understand the first thing about yourself. You don’t know your past. You don’t know your future. But <em>I</em> do. <em>I</em> know your future. Have you forgotten that I get visions too? I don’t blame you—everyone else forgets that too. I <em>should</em> have been a medicine cat. That would’ve been perfect for me, but Hwaryun wouldn’t take me as her apprentice. She knows too, you know.” Her lips upturned conspiratorially, her smile eerie. “She knew <em>everything</em>. She knows my visions, and she knew about you, before anyone else did. She did nothing, as well, but yet, everyone hates me, and they love her, all because <em>you</em> had to tell them that I told you not to come outside.”</p><p>“Then explain it to them!” Bam protested, his muscles growing tense. “Do something! Anything! Apologize! Please, I don’t want this for you either!” Rachel was the one who paved the way for him to be here. She was the one who taught him the Warrior Code. She was the one who made Bam dream of being part of her clan, to make him dream of family. “We’ll talk to our clanmates together!”</p><p>“’<em>Our</em>’ clanmates, Bam?” Rachel’s voice dropped low and quiet, her expression unreadable under the darkened sky. “There is no ‘our’. Not for you. You shouldn’t be here. No one should have found you. I wish I never found you.”</p><p>Bam opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. His body shook from chills. His thoughts left him—his heart left him. No. That wasn’t right. That wasn’t true. “You…y-you’re lying.”</p><p>“Am I, Bam? Or should I say, the one destined to destroy everything?”</p><p>“I don’t get what you mean!”</p><p>“Shut up!” Rachel stepped closer to him, startling Bam into moving back. “Get out of here! Leave! You want my advice? Stop following me! Get out of my life, and get out of my clan! You’re nothing but a rogue—understand? You don’t belong here!”</p><p>“You’re not making any sense!” She wasn’t. She couldn’t be. Bam tried to calm himself by thinking back, by shutting his eyes and remembering her smile, remembering her kindness. He realized it had been a while. She was everything to him in that cave. But when was the last time she smiled at him? When was the last time she laughed without bitterness and pain behind it? He thought back, and he expected to find more of her in the present, more of her presence in the recent times which have been, for him, the best days of his life. He looked for smiles and he saw Endorsi’s playful teasing, Anaak’s grumpy demeanor broken by a bemused smile usually at Endorsi’s expense. He saw quiet patrols with Hatz; he saw chaotic training sessions with Yuri; he saw he and Shibisu joined together on the extravagantly difficult mission of trying to wake Lauroe up for the morning border patrol.</p><p>He didn’t see Rachel there anywhere, to his growing guilt and distress. Did he really push her out, all this time? But then, he remembered all the times he <em>did</em> include her, all the patrols he invited her on even when the others didn’t. Didn’t she remember that too? But then…did she even try? He would invite her, and she would hang back from the rest of them. She avoided conversations. So what was he supposed to do?</p><p>
  <em>I wish I never found you.</em>
</p><p>She told him about her visions before, back in the tunnels. But…she never said that she saw anything bad about him before. Or was this new? He didn’t know…he didn’t understand. Why did she hate him? There had to be something else, something more to the reason. Shouldn’t she love it if he succeeded as a clan cat, since she was the one who taught him first? Would she really only love him if he was as helpless as he was back then?</p><p>Maybe he really did know nothing. But did it matter?</p><p>“You heard me, Bam,” Rachel spoke with grave serious as she repeated herself, shattering any room for doubt. “I want you to leave this clan.”</p><p>Bam paused, stunned, but only for a second. Making Rachel unhappy was the last thing he wanted to do, but even so, his answer was obvious. “No.” He furrowed his brows, his shaking legs growing steadier. “You know I’ll never leave.” A clan was family. You didn’t leave family.</p><p>“Then you would rather ruin everything? You would ruin this clan first?” She probed further, to Bam’s growing confusion.</p><p>“I’m not, I—” He….how should he answer? Should he answer that at all? “Let’s go back. I’m sure they’re already leaving for Four Trees by now. I need to catch up.”</p><p>Bam turned around to leave her. He knew he had failed in everything he just set out to do, which was to help Rachel, not make her more upset. Now, her words stuck to him, ringing through his every step. He felt the air grow dense, the time grow slow. Surely, what she said was too wrong to be true. But he was too confused to tell the difference.</p><p>He took one step forward when a crushing weight dropped onto his back.</p><p>His breath left him, and his mind was soon to follow it to the void. He struggled against Rachel’s grasp. His claws came unsheathed but he didn’t use them. He couldn’t attack her. His mind couldn’t go that far. But he felt her claws digging into his skin, drawing blood. “Rachel!” he yelped.</p><p>He tumbled with her across the ground. Bam wriggled himself free, just to get pounced on again. He remembered his training and twisted his body to avoid her. But he forgot everything when she got him on his back, his stomach dangerously exposed.</p><p>Not dangerous. Rachel wouldn’t hurt him. Friends fought all the time.</p><p>But Endorsi and Anaak never fought quite like this.</p><p>But Rachel never called herself Bam’s friend anymore.</p><p>“Don’t you <em>dare</em> leave me like this,” she spat from her position above him, fury in her eyes. “Don’t you dare.”</p><p>“I…” Bam panted although he had barely moved, his throat closing up like terror was a sea of gravel, and it had decided to enter it. “I…I can’t stay.”</p><p>“Stop that!” She swiped hard at his side, glazing his stomach and knocking him over in a roll. Tears escaped her eyes freely. “I can’t do this! I can’t take it anymore! Why won’t you leave me!?”</p><p><em>No</em>. Bam’s eyes narrowed, his muscles stiff as he lunged back at her. His brain had made no conscious decision to fight or not to fight. His body just moved on its own. He wasn’t leaving. He wasn’t letting her go. “Why!? Why do you know more than me? Just tell me what’s wrong!”</p><p>“I already did!” Rachel clawed at him but Bam dodged this time. She hissed in frustration. “You should know by now <em>exactly</em> why you shouldn’t exist!”</p><p>“That’s not my fault!” The words spilled out before Bam could stop them. He dodged Rachel again and rounded on her, trying to pin her down, although he subconsciously avoided getting a scratch on her. “That’s on you!”</p><p>“No, <em>none</em> of this my fault, Bam! <em>I’m</em> the one cursed by StarClan with this knowledge!”</p><p>“<em>StarClan!?”</em></p><p>Rachel wrestled herself free and leapt onto him again, driving Bam back, but he stood his ground.</p><p>Then Rachel moved to bite him, clamping down on his leg. Bam fell again to the ground, and this time, he felt the ground move with him. He heard the sound of dislodged rocks falling, and then splashing into the water.</p><p>Rachel had her paw pressed to his chest this time. Bam looked to the side to see the edge of the cliff right beside him. He would remember, at this point, how easy it would have been to break free from her, if only he had tried.</p><p>He felt the weight of her paw lift for second, before he felt it again on his side, ramming against him with the force of a raging current in a storm.</p><p>He felt the ground move beneath him again, and then, he didn’t feel it at all. He fell through the air with nothing to grab onto, nothing to pull him up, nothing to save him when he hit the ground.</p><p>The last thing he saw was Rachel’s darkened face growing small in the distance before he hit the water.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Epilogue: Time is Like a River</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>From shadows a starless night will rise</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The life and death of kings in his paws.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Hwaryun, unlike many in her position, did not share freely everything she saw or knew. As a medicine cat, she received dreams and visions from their ancestors in StarClan regularly—more regularly than most—but it was not every time that she shared this knowledge with her clan leader or any other cat. Instead, she chose. She kept some things to herself; she shared what was important in the present; and sometimes, she waited. There was no need in driving cats to a panic over every prophecy of the future, or in tainting a message with the inaccurate assumptions of both others and herself. Hwaryun did not fool herself into thinking she was infallible. That’s why she waited. She waited patiently for the correct path to take, and when she did, she spoke, and she led the other cats in the four clans to do the optimal thing, whether they knew a single clue as to the reason why or not.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He was a dark spot in her vision, like the night sky incarnate, finding life in the hazy shape of a cat. The ground crumbled with his every step, a raging fire in his wake.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>There was much Hwaryun was preoccupied to think about when one of the young warriors, injured by an accident while hunting, came into her den accompanied by a senior one. She leveled her one good eye at both of them, thoroughly unamused.</p><p>“You fell out of a tree chasing a squirrel,” she repeated bluntly, her brow raised.</p><p>The young warrior, Hatz, replied with something in between a grunt and a moan, the lithe black-haired tom looking away in a desperate attempt to preserve his dignity. In his stead, the senior warrior Yuri did most of the talking.</p><p>“Tried to make a leap and snapped a branch,” Yuri confirmed with a shrug, her tone bemused if only because this was very much not an irregular kind of occurrence.</p><p>“And you thought you could make it?” Hwaryun asked without expecting an answer, and she didn’t get one.</p><p>“Well, it’s no wonder with him having that maniac for a mentor,” Yuri noted as if it were a simple fact, followed by a solemn shake of the head.</p><p>Hwaryun only replied with a steady stare and slight raise of the eyebrow that said all.</p><p>“H-hey, I’ll have you know Endorsi turned out just fine!” Yuri defended herself, the long-haired russet she-cat guessing the meaning of Hwaryun’s look quite accurately indeed. Looks like she was learning. “No matter what Evan tells you, I <em>do</em> think about my decisions, I just don’t like making predictable ones. Where’s the fun in that?” She laughed, settling down on the floor of den while Hwaryun began applying a poultice to Hatz’s ankle, which had been sprained in the fall. She sighed and looked to the ceiling. “At least I don’t pick fights with every border patrol I see like White,” she pointed out, probably referring to the incident of just a few days prior. Nothing major, but Hwaryun was quite aware, as she <em>was</em> the one having to heal those fools after scuffle erupted due to a few traded insults.</p><p>“Well, I’m excited for the gathering tonight!” Yuri abruptly changed the subject with vigor. “Don’t know if I’ll be going, but if I do, I would like to meet that new KoonClan medicine cat apprentice you told me about, Hwaryun. It’s always fun seeing the new kids, right? So small and cute,” she noted with a laugh. “So Hwaryun,” she probed, “when are <em>you</em> going to get an apprentice, hmm?”</p><p>“When we finally get a kit that’s not an idiot,” she deadpanned, to Yuri’s continued laughter.</p><p>It was true, for Hwaryun having been in this position for as long as she has, it would be the general expectation for her to pick an apprentice soon. However, she was in no rush. Contrary to popular belief, that decision wasn’t one you could just make on a whim; a cat had to be chosen. Not to say she didn’t have a mental list of cats she would choose to take over for her should something happen, not that the list was particularly long. Shibisu was probably be on top, on account of his patience and detail-oriented nature. Evan could be a good fit as well. Meanwhile, cats like Yuri and White were so low on the list that Hwaryun would sooner resurrect herself than let it come to that.</p><p> </p><p><em>“Why won’t you take me!?” The yellow she-cat hissed in her face, hackles raised as if that will improve her case. “I can do </em>anything<em> you can!”</em></p><p>
  <em>She didn’t realize that Hwaryun could see more with one eye than Rachel could ever hope to see with two. She didn’t see the black marks scored across her heart, or the blood pooling around her paws, sticking to her fur. She didn’t see her place at the center of fate’s web, nor could she understand the reason why Hwaryun chose to say nothing. One would expect, knowing what she would do, that Hwaryun would find a way to kick her out before that would happen. But fate was not an item of doom to struggle against. It was a path. It was a vast series of paths, a world of possibilities of what could be. But even with so many, some things could never be avoided.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In that moment, Hwaryun didn’t choose the path that would cause cats to suffer the least. She chose the path that let great suffering end in the way that was best.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Hwaryun eyed Hatz’s damaged ankle with a slight frown of displeasure. Evankhell was going to question her when she asks that Hatz go the gathering tonight. Hwaryun knew the young tom had too much pride to decline it himself on account of the injury, but it would raise questions. Hwaryun was just going to have to resort to telling her it was important. It was both to her advantage and disadvantage, sometimes, that their leader was one who feared no god or cat. Evankhell paid little mind to StarClan, but at least she did have some trust in Hwaryun and her whims.</p><p>Evankhell would never guess the reason—that tonight, all of Bam’s closest friends would be nowhere nearby when his trial came. Otherwise, they would save him. Even if it was only one, they would alter destiny with their actions. Hwaryun did not know exactly how. She did not know what would happen.</p><p>All she knew was that tonight, Bam would not die, but the clan will think that he did. That is, all the clan except for one.</p><p>“If you wish to see the new apprentice, I will put in a good word for you with Evankhell tonight,” Hwaryun offered casually. Best that Yuri was not around, either. She, too, would be willing to go to great lengths for the young outsider of mysterious origin that had so easily become one of their own.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Rachel came into the camp with a limp and heavy breath as if running, but even in the haze of the dream, it was clearly fake. Bam had fallen. She thinks he might be dead. Some warriors come to search immediately, but they do not go far. They don’t see a body, but they didn’t look for one. They don’t cross the border. They don’t search outside the clans’ territory.</em>
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</p><p>
  <em>In another timeline, a few cats don’t stop with just a few paces downriver. They keep going, at the risk of the neighboring clan’s ire, as they make it all the way to Twolegplace, to a half-dead cat washed up on the bank.</em>
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</p><p>
  <em>In another timeline, a frustrated cat with a bad ankle hobbles all the way to Four Trees when no one else will, because he knows that Endorsi, in the addition to being one of the few who truly cared, was also the fastest runner in the whole clan. On open ground, it was as if she could fly. She uses it to get to him a few seconds too late, before the Twolegs found him. But that wouldn’t stop them. They were always a reckless group, even as apprentices—it was no wonder they were the ones to become friends with the young destroyer.</em>
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</p><p>
  <em>In yet another, Rachel is confronted, and a few well-placed questions reveal her lies. </em>
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</p><p>“Thank you.” Hatz stood up after Hwaryun was done, moving to leave the den.</p><p>“Hey, aren’t you going to get some rest first?” Yuri’s more responsible sisterly side was showing through.</p><p>“I’m fine.” Hatz shrugged. “I’d rather walk it out anyways.”</p><p>Hwaryun watched them leave. This wasn’t the way of least suffering in the present, but little did they know, a storm was coming one day soon that would far eclipse all of this. So it was important, now, that Bam leave them and grow stronger, so he could grow into the god he was destined to be.</p><p> </p><p>What Rachel didn’t understand was that fate was like a river. You can alter its course, but no wall you build can stop it altogether. When she sought out the boy from her visions, her conclusion was to keep him from ever seeing the outside, all to keep that one grim future from ever happening. She never saw that he was not the sole harbinger. She never saw her choice in the matter, how she alone had more choice than all of her clanmates to affect the future if she so desired. She was too distracted by the vision’s telling of her own bloody end to notice how so many other cats’ lives would end the same or worse. She didn’t know that, with every bridge she burned, she marched ever closer to that end.</p><p>In another universe, Rachel could have been a good apprentice for her. In this world, Hwaryun would sooner choose Yuri or White.</p><p>Hwaryun wouldn’t say anything, yet. It was better to keep Rachel close, to make her believe she was in control, in order to prevent the actual death of one of the many cats she felt threatened by. The paranoia from her secret was about to make her dangerous, but as long as she chose to remain blind, Hwaryun would always have the advantage.</p><p>When the storm came that StarClan kept telling her about, then, nothing will stop every hidden thing from being made known.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Bam stumbled into the clearing, pain searing through his body with every step. He didn’t have time to figure out what was broken. He didn’t have the energy to lick his wounds. Every last bit of power that he possessed had gone into his last escape, and even then, he wondered if he overreacted. He vaguely remembered the Twoleg picking him up out of the river. When he fully came to, he was in one of their metal cages, riding in a moving box. He broke out by crashing the cage from the shelf to the floor, and then running the moment they opened the door.</p><p>He had no idea where he was. The forest smelled unfamiliar, the sounds similar but in no way the same. He knew next to nothing about the world outside the clans, except that the cats out there were rogues, and they were not to be trusted.</p><p>However, that didn’t stop him from wanting to latch on to the first cat he saw. Lucky for him, he would prove to be one that he could trust.</p><p>“Hey kid—kid?” The older cat laid a paw gently on his shoulder. Bam didn’t realize that he had collapsed again until he opened his eyes and saw the blurry image standing over him.</p><p>“I’m fine…” he mumbled, untruthfully. “I…I’m just…”</p><p>“Take it easy,” the old dark tabby tom ordered, leaning back with a sigh to give him some room. “Breathe, okay? Just breathe.”</p><p>Bam tried to do as he said.</p><p>“What happened—got hit by a car?”</p><p>What was a ‘car’? “N-no…I don’t know…”</p><p>The cat paused for a moment, as if thinking. “Look, just take a moment to catch your breath. I know someone who can help. You’re going to have to do some walking, but I’ll take you to her.”</p><p>“Thanks.” Bam smiled weakly, feeling more relaxed despite his inability to think straight over the pain. “I’m…I’m Bam, by the way.”</p><p>“Jinsung,” the rogue supplied with a slight bemused smile before sitting down beside him, despite the trace of worry for the stranger evident behind his eyes. “Now how about we wait a minute and don’t run off into any more roads, okay?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yeah, so, that is that! The reason why I up and wrote was basically entirely because I liked the idea of writing a full-on confrontation scene with Rachel and Bam, which ends about as well as you'd expect. And, I suppose I was feeling like doing pain, ha ha. And then, after that, I was like, 'you who'd be fun to write? Hwaryun.', so I did.</p><p>I never actually ended up deciding on a name for the clan Bam is in, but it's basically the test floor crew plus White so I can make a joke at his expense about him being Hatz's mentor, because, well, that could be a thing? But with this being an AU, I kind of made him less evil, more just aggressive. I pictured Evankhell as the leader and Hansung as the deputy. Lero and Quant are also senior warriors. So you can see Hwaryun's dilemma with the lack of sane cats :P</p><p>So yes, the only name I got is KoonClan. You can imagine how much of a mess they must be, heh. I'm implying that there's two or three other clans but I have names for zilch.</p><p>Anyhow, hope you enjoyed!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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